Ramon Bong Revilla Jr Captured by Bad Guys

The bad guys have managed to capture Ramon Bong Revilla Jr. They tied up his arms then they tied him to a chair. They beat him up several times but he was just too strong mentally. They couldn’t get the information they wanted from him. They asked him all sorts of questions like where the money is, where the girl they have been looking for is, but he would just reply with something witty and insulting at the same time. Then he started talking about how he’s going to kill them all one by one. It was a long boring harangue, completely unbecoming of a main protagonist. The bad guys got bored with this so they gagged him with a dirty piece of rag then left him alone in the dark.

In the darkness of the room, Ramon Bong Revilla Jr. thought about the leading lady. She is a mestiza, the daughter of an American businessman father and a Filipina mother. Somehow due to sad circumstances, they had to leave their cushy life in the US and move into the Philippines, in the province. It seems her father was involved in some scheme that went awry, and the problem was that the failed scheme was on borrowed money. The creditors then went after him. Somehow they managed to hide for years in the province. She finished high school and college. She became a kindergarten teacher. The students and her co-workers loved her. She loved eating bananacue after teaching, and it was there in the bananacue stand that they met.

She told him to fuck off. “I’m eating here,” she said.

But Ramon Bong Revilla Jr. was persistent. He sent her flowers through her students. He thought it was cute. She thought it was stupid. He sent her chocolates. She thought it was a waste of money, and could you please stop using my students to do stupid shit for you.

Ramon Bong Revilla Jr.’s friends in the police station commiserated, and they went out one night to drink and sing the karaoke. But then they had an altercation with the guys next to them in the beer house. Shots were fired, punches thrown. In the end, ten people died. Five police, five non-police. The death of several of his ka-barkadas made Ramon Bong Revilla Jr. mopey for a bit. In the shooting range, he’s not the number one sharpshooter anymore. His temper became shorter and he started showing up to the police station disheveled and smelling of hard liquor.

Maybe that’s why the bad guys captured Ramon Bong Revilla Jr. Besides no longer caring about being the number one sharpshooter in the precinct, he also no longer took care of his health. He stopped lifting weights, he began eating more salty and sweet food. He stopped combing his hair and brushing his teeth. Being single and living alone, with not even a pet for company, only the bright screen of his massive LCD TV, he just lapsed into this dark mental state. In six month’s time, he managed to gain five kilograms. No one was there to help him. Not the girl he loves, not his police chief, not the local priest who was his high school buddy.

One of the bad guys enters the room. He turns on the lights. He removes the gag and starts spoon-feeding Ramon Bong Revilla Jr. The bad guy’s name is Jeric. He has just graduated from high school. He is working as a houseboy in the kidnapping house of the bad guys. The pay isn’t bad and the work isn’t that hard. He has day-offs during Sundays. He sends the money he earns to his parents in the province. Last night he wrote to his mother: Mother I am alright, please do not worry about me. How are my younger brothers and sisters? How is our beloved dog Bantay and our beloved carabao Lando? I hope you are all in the best of health. I hope father has stopped drinking Tanduay so much. I worry for his health. Work has been okay. I will be sending money next week. Your beloved son, Jeric.

After writing, he folded the yellowpaper so that it would fit into an envelope. He placed it in one of the drawers of his study table. After praying, he then went to sleep.

This latest person his bosses have brought to the house seems familiar to Jeric. Has he seen him somewhere? Maybe he’s somebody famous? He is eating a lot though, and Jeric could barely keep up spooning food into the person’s mouth. Jeric was taught how to cook by his mother who runs a small eatery back home in the province. As a young boy he was always at his mother’s side. So much so that the children his age called him names like ‘gay’ or ‘faggot’ and other similar hurtful words. Oftentimes he would come home crying and covered in bruises. His mother would then comfort him and tell him that those other children are just envious of how conscientious, kind and loving he is.

All the time that he’s being fed by Jeric, Ramon Bong Revilla Jr. has been biding his time. He has earlier managed to free his hands. It is a testament to how careless this bad guy is that he did not check his restraints, he thinks to himself. After having had his fill he decides to act.

Jeric finishes spoon-feeding Ramon Bong Revilla Jr. As he turns around to proceed to the kitchen to then wash the dishes, Ramon Bong Revilla Jr. wraps his huge powerful hands around Jeric’s neck. Jeric struggles, he tries to breathe, he tries to prise the hands of Ramon Bong Revilla Jr. but fails. His last thoughts were about home and his mother, his younger siblings and his drunkard father.

His feet still tied to the chair’s legs, Ramon Bong Revilla Jr. has fallen over the dead body of Jeric. The exertion has left him covered in sweat. He is breathing heavily. He looks at the bad guy he has just killed and smiles. One down several more to go, he says to himself. Just then a couple of guards enter the room. Unable to free his legs in time, Ramon Bong Revilla Jr. is beaten into a hamburger meat consistency and is then left unconscious with the body of Jeric in the dark room.


About kara

I just like to read. Used to work in a library. My interests are horror and the gothic imagination, absurd and dark humor, urban legends, and other related unwholesome topics. I write short fiction sometimes. Older stuff: https://www.scribd.com/user/93209/narodnikkki
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