Kris Aquino: Her Life and Struggles

While in the midst of a show, wholesome family show, happy happy music, smiling celebrity faces, smiling studio audience faces, Kris Aquino suddenly transforms into her true form. Her true form then proceeds to devour the guests one by one. All the while, the studio and TV audience clap and laugh. The reaction of the guests’ faces as they are being devoured is puzzlement. A confused grin, forced laughter which later turns into cries and screams and a pointless effort at trying to run away. The eyes plead help from the audience, the audience replies with more claps and more laughter. Atmosphere – describe the conditions outside the studio, the weather. Heat, miasmic. People swarming the whole country. Pedestrians like ants, stoic and impassive walking on to their places of employment underneath the relentless tropical sun. Meanwhile back to the show. KA then squats in front of the audience, up in the raised platform and exposes her genitalia, which is cavernous and rimmed with red and green sores. The hairs ringing it are black and thick and wiggle, like the tentacles of sea anemones, or some deep-water tentacled predator. In her right hand, she is holding a microphone. In her left hand, she is clutching a bundle of cash which she then proceeds to throw towards the spectators, eliciting more cries of love and affection.

The country grew up watching her. Since the late 80s, up to the present, her presence has been ubiquitous. From the north to the south, from the west to the east, wherever there’s a television screen, her visage has made its presence. Most of the movies made during that early period in her career were B-movies. There was a time when the national cinema was classier, much more elevated artistically, but that was a decade before her time. When she started, it was all action heroes and damsels in distress. The way these macho guys are, they could take on Rambo with a flick of their finger. Not only are they adept in the use of high-caliber weapons, swords of various types and sizes, as well as in martial arts, they can also sing and dance. And that’s what is important, that’s what the audience loves.  She was known for her screams. A voice that the nation has learned to live with, to tolerate, to venerate, because there was no escaping it. You hear it in radio talk shows, you hear it on the television, those perpetually lit electronic boxes emitting lights and sounds, creating stories, presenting an alternate reality from the usual daily misery. Many infants went to sleep with her distinctive high-pitched screams from the television screen in the background.

Did they love her? Not all. There were critics of course. Worthless people who have nothing more important to do with their lives than pointing out alleged flaws in her character. They were just envious of her wealth and success and the place that she has carved for herself in the life of the nation. She is rich, she was born rich. She came from landed aristocracy. Her parents were the largest landowners of their respective provinces. She did not have to work, but she did. She was a child of the television screen, made for the camera, a creature in need of the gaze of millions of billions of eyes in order to survive. In her later years, the nation saw her crying. Something terrible has happened to her. Her love life was in shambles, the people watched, as she told them. Elaborate. Details. She’s still rich of course. But her poor heart has been broken. She has discovered that her husband has been cheating on her with another rising actress, young and nubile.

Years, decades later, in a cryptozoological zoo with all sorts of creatures in it, and in one dilapidated, feces smeared cage is our one and only Kris Aquino. She has just given birth to her nth retarded child, and is now in the process of devouring the infant. She has already consumed much of its head. We are scientists, onlookers and visitors to the zoo. The lead scientist says that she is one of the most beautiful and purest creatures in existence. She exists in her own universe, some place she has created and will impose on the world if it is not countered early on, which is what exactly these scientists have done. She pauses from what she’s doing. She stands up, and in a slightly condescending but sincere tone says ‘Hi.’


About kara

I just like to read. Used to work in a library. My interests are horror and the gothic imagination, absurd and dark humor, urban legends, and other related unwholesome topics. I write short fiction sometimes. Older stuff:
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