Diary, 05 Dec – 11 Dec, 2018
diary, paul auster, umberto eco foucault’s pendulum, book review, apostle 2018 movie review, anarchism, confucianism, psoriasis, keyboard review, a4tech kls 5up, OTG keyboard lenovo tab, Johns Hopkins literary theory, history, historiography, knights templars, tantrayana buddhism
[05 DEC 2018]
I can’t think of anything good to write. I think this is because I don’t have anything good to write. Oh, I actually have soemthing interesting to tell you about imaginary future reader (redundant! all readers are from the future. there are no past readers of this account). I am writing this using this set-up: A lenovo tablet hooked up through this device called on OTG cable to an external keyboard (a4tech kls 5 up). This is the set-up that I’ve been looking for for the longest time. For one, there isn’t that much distraction. It is simple and basic. You have the keyboard, you have the screen. The program is basic too. There is no spellcheck for example, so that all the writings in here, need to be checked later on for spelling errors. This wouldn’t be a difficult task, thanks to technology. I can just transfer the file into my laptop and open it in one of the full-fledged writing softwares in there, do some editing, and poof output finished. Truly exciting times we’re living in.
Another thing is that I can carry this set-up anywhere. It is just a keyboard and the tablet. Though maybe I could not bring this to the library as the keyboard with me typing in it can get a bit loud. Maybe one of the student assistants would silently sidle up to me, and whisper in my ear, sir you can’t do that …
“Make noise in the library.”
“But I am doing very important research, how am I going to proceed with my work?”
“Maybe use a pen and paper?” Her eyes are pleading to me to just you know, not be an asshole, and I’d smile, okay, but just because it’s you that came here and not one of those other student assistants.
But my train of thought is gone, and I am back to staring at the clouds and the blue sky outside of the library. I also did not bring my notebook and pencil, and so yeah …
I can actually see myself writing my papers with this set-up. I can just write and write, and do the editing later. If only I have used this set-up so much earlier … regrets, regrets …
So the old keyboard is workign again, and I am just so happy. I like this keyboard to say the least. I have written about the reasons why I lke it previously. Mostly it is because of the enter key. This keyboard has the old-school rectangle enter key. The new design is similar in all aspects except for that, and it irks me. The new keyboard design has the key in the shape of a sideways L, and it just messes with the way that I type. I can reach at least 90 wpm using this old keyboard. With the new one, it’s only in the low to mid 80s. This old -still -usable keyboard’s problem is that it doesn’t automatically plug n play. There’s some issue with the connector, and we thought maybe I could replace it with the connector from the new one and it would work as new. That’s what I’m hoping would happen.
Today I have just been so tired. Maybe it is because of the 16:8 diet I have been trying. It is the second day, and I think I am getting used to it. I managed to do it for four days back in N.E. I think part of the reason why I’ve just been so sleepy is that my body is just re-adjusting to the climate here. I have forgotten how cold it actually is here after having spent more than a month in N.E. This new revelation has cemented in me the idea that I will base myself here in the future. But this is still not the time. I have to actually still yet go out there and make something out of myself. Then I can say that I have the right to stay here. I still miss the trees though, those wonderful majestic mahogany trees that were cut down. It would have been much colder if those trees weren’t cut down.
My psoriasis is at peak worst condition. I am at the end of my clear cycle, and I can start medicating tomorrow (7dec2018). It is really bad, so bad. I accidentally bumped into something and peeled off a scab and motherfucker gushed like a blood fountain. This happened about a week ago, and it still stings. It is primiarly now in my back, so much so at my back, and my calves and thighs. Two fingers of my left hand are also affected (pointing, middle). There are also some big ones at my shoulders. My scalp is just terrible, and my ears as well. My toes are affected, and my fear is that it would affect my nails and be like those others with worse symptoms – yellowing, deformed nails. The thought is terrifying.
I should be reading, but I am so tired. Could it be the psoriasis? Is this one of the symptoms. Need to do research on this. Skin is so itchy and painful right now. At least the weather’s colder here, so it’s tolerable somewhat. I really think that I have to take painkillers for this. Paracetamol only. The last time I took Ibuprofen, I had a sort of allergic reaction. It was scary.
Earlier went to the city to buy this keyboard, an A4Tech KLS 5, the new all-black version. I am going to dismantle this later in order to use a part from it for the old keyboard, hoping that the old keyboard coul still be salvaged. I was lucky that I was patient in my search for this specific keyboard, as the one I found in Octagon store in Centrio cost about 630 pesos or so. I looked at some other shop and finally found this one on sale. It only cost 575. I have just enough money for the fare back home. And now I am using it, and everything looks spiffy.
I am not going to dismantle this yet. I like that it’s more quite than the old keyboard. I should have brought the other keyboard back home with me from Nueva Ecija. Well at least I could just give this other one to the other sibling so that it could aid in gaming. It’s hard to game with a laptop using the laptop’s built-in keyboard.
On the way there, inside the van, a most interesting passenger. A middle-aged woman, who is a bit lacking in mental faculties. Kept singing every now and then while the van is on its way to the city. It was interesting to say the least. Most managed to tolerate it, I mean what else could they do? The wife of the driver, who assists the passengers, bantered with the woman, asked questions, asked if maybe they could drop her off at V—-. She has not bathed or dressed well, and the driver’s wife said that the other passengers can smell her. The smelly woman was not belligerent, only she was annoying. She can answer questions, but there is clearly something wrong with her.
There was a fire somewhere near A—-, when I was on my way there towards the terminal going C——. I have just purchased the keyboard and immediately started for home. I stopped by Shopwise to buy something to drink (Zest-o orange, a small bottle of Absolute water). The guard just checked my bag, the Dell laptop bag of my brother’s new laptop (which he has left in his room and thus was not using, and thus was free to be used by me). If you bring this type of bag, they would just let you carry it in the shopping and grocery areas. So that’s the plan next time when I visit the malls.
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I am thinking of writing a story. Don’t know about what. Som
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While washing the dishes earlier, I thought about the concept of ‘rectification of names’, whether this concept can be applied politically and in a radical manner. I can see its use among anarchists for example and other libertarian movements. They’d use it against perceived enemies, saying we know your true names and faces, we know what you really are. Stuff like that, pretty dramatic. But it does not have to be. It’s just a way of saying that we know things for what they really are.
The concept is from Confucianism. It is for a well-ordered society. Anarchism isn’t chaos. It is about a just and well-ordered society. Between an unjust peace and justice, which would you choose? Of course these aren’t the only options, but just think in such a way that these are the only options.
This also calls for clarity in language. There is no need to be so confusing. If you can explain it using simple words, do so. Otherwise it’s just adding more confusion to this already sad and confusing world.
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just linked this to dropbox. i wonder what happens if there’s no internet connection.
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Update on the keyboard. So I did as was planned, and it worked! Everything works. The inner guts of the new keyboard is exactly the same as that of the old one, so it was just a very simple process of transferring the working cable of the new keyboard to the chassis of the old keyboard. It worked immediately and I was elated to say the least. This keyboard, so many wondeful memories, so much nostalgia. If this were a magical universe we’re living in, I would probably have this keyboard as my horcrux or something. It’s weird being so attached to an object. This is a very useful object though, and I think it is alright to have a strong connection to it. Swords, pens, knives, other tools, other implements with which humanity has used to create, it’s okay to feel like this towards them. But the point is that these are just tools, and it is what you do with it that is important. So that’s that with this matter with the keyboard. It is now time to turn to the more difficult task at hand- to actually write something.
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09 DEC 2018
It is night now, thirty minutes to midnight. I went out earlier, after dinner for a walk. I trudged the usual path from the house straight to the park in the old Municipal Building. It was cold, and it seems my body has forgotten how cold it actually is to be here. I have only been back for a few days after having been gone for more than a month. I’m still adjusting I think.
I did not actually go inside the park. I stopped by the multi-purpose hall near it, and then headed back. There were so many people still. The idea was to aid my digestion after having had a heavy meal. This is for the prevention of possible stomach issues, which I sadly know too much about.
I managed to read the portion in the Johns Hopkins literary theory book about ‘Historical Method’. There were several familiar names: Schlegel, Hegel, Herder, Vico, Croce. It was, sadly something I found not that interesting. I don’t know, maybe when I am in the right frame of mind it would be cast in a new light and the world would be a much interesting place, and I really need to stop being so sarcastic. I need to still finish the part about Chinese literary theory before jumping on to other entries. I think I am in the Mao period now. So that would be interesting.
Also read a few pages of Eco’s Pendulum. I am at the part where they’re talking about the Templars. I thought it was interesting. How so? Well first the method of presenting, or framing the history of the Templars. In the novel, it is discussed because it is the thesis topic of one of the main characters. The other characters are book men as well, and they are familiar somewhat with this topic, and so you get all these funny commentaries and dialogue regarding the Templars. It’s very clever. This is a bookish book. I like when fiction works are like that. Self-reflexive? Meta? Self-referential? I forgot the exact word for this. Anyway, you also find this in the works of Paul Auster.
Deformed. Distorted. Warped. I can’t find the exact word for that disparaging description of Tantrayana Buddhism I read in a book once. If only I was able to summon the word while talking with Ms. M, then the conversation would have been clearer. Also, forgot Hayden White’s name when I talked about history being more of an art than a science. Only found out that White himsef wrote a blurb at the back of the book that I brought with me that day. Facepalm. Anyway, you can’t overanalyze conversations that already happened in the past. The best thing is to focus on the things to do and talk about in the future. Moderation, moderation, even in worrying.
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10 DEC 2018 [[SPOILERS ALERT. APOSTLE (2018)]]
Just watched Apostle (2018) earlier. It is set in the early 1900s, and is about this guy who goes in search of his sister who is with this cult in this island. I think it’s a great, entertaining film. The main lead is intense. He is a skilled actor. I think all the actors in this movie performed well. I like well-done period pieces, and Apostle is an example of this. It is gritty, authentic-looking, it makes you feel immersed in the story. There are a lot of bloody scenes in this film, but they are not overdone. They may be gruesome, but I think the gruesomeness was necessary.
The main lead’s (Thomas, played by that guy from the series ‘Legion’) back story adds a lot to the narrative. It explains why the Goddess chose him later on. My explanation for this is that the Goddess saw his spiritual worth or depth through the sufferings that he has experienced. The final scene shows the final fulfillment of this arc regarding his faith and spirituality.
I find the perspective of Quinn, the main antagonist, with regards to the captured Goddess, interesting. His understanding is that the Goddess is just a machine. It is not something to be feared or venerated, just something to be used for the benefit of the people. This is in contrast to Malcolm, one-third of the triumvirate of the Founders of the Town. Quinn claims that Malcolm has started to worship the Goddess, and that Malcolm would sacrifice the people themselves to the Goddess.
There is also an interesting theme in this movie about life and birth. When Quinn finds out that his daughter Fionn has become pregnant, he goes into a rampage, asking her who was impregnated her, castigating her, telling her of the horrible thing that the child will be. This is because the Goddess’s fertility powers has become feeble and twisted, so that the Island is suffering from crop failures and reproductive problems in their livestock. He tells her that the child will be this twisted blob of flesh that no mother would call her own. I thought it was pretty darn dramatic and intense language. This confrontation scene between the father and daughter is a highlight of this movie. Wonderfully-acted on both parts.
In the end, to continue with the theme of life and birth, and really, rebirth, we see the dying Thomas being absorbed by the island. We are made to infer that he will be the next power source for the island, taking up the role previously played by that of the captured Goddess whom he has ‘freed’. Now that Quinn is gone, this new supernatural force would be more in line with how things should be, and so maybe the people can return and rebuild the town or something. But they probably should no longer practice those Inquisition-style interrogation and ‘cleansing’ this time around.
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11 DEC 2018
My supply of the ointment ran out two days ago, and I am forced to ration the medication for the scalp, applying it onto non-scalp parts of my skin. Every morning or afternoon, a few moments after waking up, I start sunbathing. It’s been effective the last time I tried it. The problem here is that these days it’s been mostly cloudy. So I have to really take notice of when the sun’s out and take adv